UK – A PLEA to the people of the United States. PLEASE KEEP PIERS MORGAN!

o-PIERS-MORGAN-570We don’t want him back – we don’t like him – we never wanted him in the first place – certainly NOT on television!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE MERCY!!!

You have a big country, surely there must be somewhere you could put him. He comes from the UK so he is used to small spaces. A little bit of wilderness with bears and wolves would make an ideal home for him.

He is not too bright, so it should be easy enough to get him there without him noticing. Just drop him off in the middle of bear country and tell him he is visiting a zoo or something (preferably where the hunting season is open – doesn’t matter which species – he will fit most).

Don’t take any notice if he starts to wriggle or complain – we don’t – he doesn’t know what he is talking about most of the time anyway.

So people of the USA – PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t send him back to us – he is an idiot!!

If you don’t want to keep him, perhaps you could send him somewhere else – like Central Africa

Or

Please sign the petition at The White House!

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